Satire and parody from Holly, Michigan.https://battlealleybugle.com/en-ushttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122119301979425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122119301979425232Big development in the Holly Village President race: apparently we are no longer electing a village president.Sat, 12 Sep 2026 12:00:00 GMTCommunity LifeSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122118312021425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122118312021425232Holly resident Tammy Flickenstaff announced this week that she is actively seeking part-time employment, provided it does not involve food, retail, customer service, driving, mornings, evenings or weekends.Fri, 11 Sep 2026 13:30:00 GMTCommunity LifeSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122118388449425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122118388449425232A local candidate suspended his campaign this week after voters concluded his sad clown persona had become a problem.Wed, 09 Sep 2026 13:30:00 GMTVillage HallSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122117919765425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122117919765425232Declaring shortly after breakfast that he intended to “do absolutely nothing” with his Labor Day, Holly resident Eric Brindle was observed 43 minutes later standing on a ladder with a cordless drill.Mon, 07 Sep 2026 13:30:00 GMTCommunity LifeSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122117159655425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122117159655425232A suspected Iranian cyber group successfully gained access to the Village of Holly’s water infrastructure Thursday before abandoning the operation approximately 17 minutes later.Fri, 04 Sep 2026 13:30:00 GMTStreets & UtilitiesSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122117057175425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122117057175425232A severe thunderstorm with winds exceeding 70 mph moved through Holly Thursday morning, activating outdoor warning sirens across Oakland County and prompting residents to begin searching for the tornado they assumed…Thu, 03 Sep 2026 16:01:00 GMTStreets & UtilitiesSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122116584339425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122116584339425232After nearly eight years of careful observation, local resident Diane Mercer has assembled an extensive collection of vehicles that were definitely speeding past her house, despite having never measured the speed of any…Thu, 03 Sep 2026 13:30:00 GMTStreets & UtilitiesSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122115397137425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122115397137425232Citing continued budget constraints and the rising cost of maintaining separate municipal departments, the Village of Holly has formally outsourced several essential services to the Paw Patrol, a six-dog emergency…Wed, 02 Sep 2026 13:30:00 GMTVillage HallSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122112277275425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122112277275425232Traffic resumed on Rood Rd Sunday afternoon after two local residents who recognized each other while driving in opposite directions finally exhausted every available topic of conversation, ending a roadside discussion…Tue, 01 Sep 2026 13:30:00 GMTStreets & UtilitiesSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122115320535425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122115320535425232The first campaign signs of the season have begun appearing across Holly, marking the start of the community’s annual nine-week lawn migration ahead of the Nov. 3 general election.Mon, 31 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTCommunity LifeSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122114590533425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122114590533425232The Village of Holly has formally ceded control of downtown sidewalks to a roving gang of between six and seven 10-year-olds on electric mini bikes after officials concluded the children possess superior speed, numbers…Fri, 28 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTStreets & UtilitiesSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122114663967425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122114663967425232Another lengthy public explanation of why road reconstruction does in fact require money has pushed Holly’s supply of road-related paperwork past the threshold needed to begin filling several smaller potholes.Thu, 27 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTStreets & UtilitiesSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122113848753425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122113848753425232Officials involved in the Stiff’s Mill Pond restoration are asking residents to disclose any additional dams they may be aware of after engineering work unexpectedly identified a second earthen structure helping retain…Wed, 26 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTStreets & UtilitiesSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122114229609425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122114229609425232A promotional appearance by Big Poppa’s Pizzeria ended in tragedy Monday when the restaurant’s pizza-slice mascot was overwhelmed and devoured by a crowd of hungry pedestrians, an incident management later described as…Tue, 25 Aug 2026 16:00:00 GMTDowntown & DevelopmentSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122111039709425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122111039709425232Opening festivities at the Michigan Renaissance Festival were briefly interrupted Saturday when a time portal opened near Hollygrove and deposited several residents of 14th-century Europe onto the festival grounds.Mon, 24 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTCommunity LifeSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122112277557425232https://www.facebook.com/122109341631425232/posts/122112277557425232The Holly Police Department reminded residents this week that bicycles, scooters, skateboards and other wheeled devices must be dismounted in designated areas of downtown, adding that the requirement also applies to…Fri, 21 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTDowntown & DevelopmentSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02WHVWNQqJfLuiMjqFSRZEHYNieo7nnnUtYkWRXw16fMmUE4LwFbXNfMMRuKV2xWQ7lhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02WHVWNQqJfLuiMjqFSRZEHYNieo7nnnUtYkWRXw16fMmUE4LwFbXNfMMRuKV2xWQ7lCiting growing demand for government transparency, the Village of Holly announced Wednesday the launch of Holly FOIA, a new subscription service that automatically sends residents public records they were probably going…Wed, 19 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTVillage HallSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0CCCeyvxeduFGd4ySjZsmKiEG7YnSmsLuJWqQiJEeGivTxaU3qmSCFxnRdx9D8raAlhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0CCCeyvxeduFGd4ySjZsmKiEG7YnSmsLuJWqQiJEeGivTxaU3qmSCFxnRdx9D8raAlMonths after relocating Holly’s historic Union Depot, officials have moved on to the next phase of the decades-long preservation effort: deciding what the restored 1886 building should actually be used for.Mon, 17 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTHistory & PreservationSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid022Jr7nhhhGUTXT2TebeE2xebqL8x7pStSVgGdM5hvfm8tJyarSCJ72G6S3RPXXwWrlhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid022Jr7nhhhGUTXT2TebeE2xebqL8x7pStSVgGdM5hvfm8tJyarSCJ72G6S3RPXXwWrlThe Holly Farmers Market announced plans to phase out traditional farmers in favor of additional 3D-printed dragon vendors after determining residents strongly prefer articulated plastic creatures to produce.Fri, 14 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTCommunity LifeSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02SRq25eDZqkPEPH1PRtTeBePSm6DZhEoGy1w6ypGAUfQLCeugm6d6ZEfQW8oJr8Q8lhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02SRq25eDZqkPEPH1PRtTeBePSm6DZhEoGy1w6ypGAUfQLCeugm6d6ZEfQW8oJr8Q8lA Holly Village Council candidate drew support with a platform of lower taxes, better roads, transparency, and fewer business obstacles, before questions about how to accomplish all of those things at once briefly complicated the campaign.Thu, 13 Aug 2026 15:45:00 GMTVillage HallSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0H3drUCus3gNLLjN2JFbiEMGFHAveWTtsmPAe65vo5mxCHqo4cGiWRRPDYF7wdHBvlhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0H3drUCus3gNLLjN2JFbiEMGFHAveWTtsmPAe65vo5mxCHqo4cGiWRRPDYF7wdHBvlA long-term financial analysis gave Holly officials the reassuring news that the Village may still have roughly a decade before its General Fund reaches crisis, while roads, utilities, and other capital needs continue patiently waiting their turn.Wed, 12 Aug 2026 19:30:00 GMTVillage HallSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0272kERkwMn4vbz2DmYkcy2TCsQirSz4tQQnXFF7mnyR8Dbafk2uCZQzGzBRykAnAKlhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0272kERkwMn4vbz2DmYkcy2TCsQirSz4tQQnXFF7mnyR8Dbafk2uCZQzGzBRykAnAKlHolly officials unveiled a preservation initiative to restore regular public combat to Battle Alley, beginning with an annual reenactment of the 1880 brawl that helped give the downtown landmark its name.Wed, 12 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTHistory & PreservationSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid038KfRZZnbD2TKx8y1UubmCnjDrDsZPYAG1P2WiMnGvSDsAqSwJVsyKCgB5HLJuYfQlhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid038KfRZZnbD2TKx8y1UubmCnjDrDsZPYAG1P2WiMnGvSDsAqSwJVsyKCgB5HLJuYfQlVillage officials clarified that Holly’s open burning permits do not authorize residents to summon Baphomet or other occult entities for ignition assistance, despite the apparent effectiveness of the method.Mon, 10 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTVillage HallSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid024KbN1MWmh6qRScgmR897owFopeQtXrck2DxhM8ni9KQ8GmqpL6ENZSnARU8TcF37lhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid024KbN1MWmh6qRScgmR897owFopeQtXrck2DxhM8ni9KQ8GmqpL6ENZSnARU8TcF37lA restored 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle drew a familiar crowd of spectators eager to explain that a brother, father, uncle, or guy named Terry once owned essentially the same car.Fri, 07 Aug 2026 13:00:00 GMTCommunity LifeSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0mqMCjZR33i6XSkfq6NFBW4HJjaWdGMzvzCUrGcpBWeZmR44bkXgoL2GbTfkCcDyYlhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0mqMCjZR33i6XSkfq6NFBW4HJjaWdGMzvzCUrGcpBWeZmR44bkXgoL2GbTfkCcDyYlVillage officials reassured residents that Holly’s marijuana retailers would remain safely indoors and away from the downtown social district, where adults are legally encouraged to carry alcoholic drinks through the streets.Wed, 05 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTDowntown & DevelopmentSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0EYVhHdEHQPtAz8WoBjBQ8BSXS4GjN4s8gfr5xBsuk5bmmVY7gqRay3r1cwJXqHHClhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0EYVhHdEHQPtAz8WoBjBQ8BSXS4GjN4s8gfr5xBsuk5bmmVY7gqRay3r1cwJXqHHClHolly officially ended its Second Annual Boil Water Festival by restoring residents’ ability to drink tap water without boiling it first, closing out three days of kettles, stockpots, and the traditional Meijer Panic.Tue, 04 Aug 2026 18:30:00 GMTStreets & UtilitiesSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02k1rKUZSap95WrAfMP5HFoyMrxxoCHxESyg7iYsahiJnsQtPvZbnCGG963XPeqKpdlhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02k1rKUZSap95WrAfMP5HFoyMrxxoCHxESyg7iYsahiJnsQtPvZbnCGG963XPeqKpdlHolly Township voters returned to the polls after four residents elected to the Parks Commission in 2024 missed the oath deadline, leaving officials to add reminders that winning office is only the first step in actually holding it.Tue, 04 Aug 2026 11:00:00 GMTVillage HallSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02xpv9WkJFH4uee8vh9B1Jpg4XDZcjaceJR2fthDGz2orx7zrKBUm5jCvNTbyEsdRylhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02xpv9WkJFH4uee8vh9B1Jpg4XDZcjaceJR2fthDGz2orx7zrKBUm5jCvNTbyEsdRylPlans to replace Holly’s vacant Wendy’s with a second Taco Bell would create a redundant taco infrastructure system capable of protecting residents from missed entrances, long drive-thru lines, and catastrophic Baja Blast shortages.Mon, 03 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTDowntown & DevelopmentSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0rypXwT76HU8erH99J2a365aZPbNb8ejgSwuSpTaWDiq4Nd5RY5a5Ruy7R7gSX5Walhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0rypXwT76HU8erH99J2a365aZPbNb8ejgSwuSpTaWDiq4Nd5RY5a5Ruy7R7gSX5WalAnother water main break brought Holly residents together for the Second Annual Boil Water Festival, returning just 12 days after the inaugural event with stockpots, bottled water, and a familiar advisory.Sat, 01 Aug 2026 21:30:00 GMTStreets & UtilitiesSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02ez3Q4GRt3hXjLVWW5oFSBufAqpUvigQj65y8WRrB77JVaMQ1dgcCfvCxLtNE6ypplhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02ez3Q4GRt3hXjLVWW5oFSBufAqpUvigQj65y8WRrB77JVaMQ1dgcCfvCxLtNE6ypplHolly Area Schools announced a bond-funded monorail network after determining that student drop-off traffic had finally exceeded the useful capacity of roads, cones, arrows, and increasingly desperate parking-lot directions.Sat, 01 Aug 2026 13:30:00 GMTCommunity LifeSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0ZeS1qh1siMMvuM9r7Xs6V38cRmPvsYV7uH1qb5GWdGrXgkv11H7c3uSEn4mPXpielhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0ZeS1qh1siMMvuM9r7Xs6V38cRmPvsYV7uH1qb5GWdGrXgkv11H7c3uSEn4mPXpielA Holly resident who regularly travels to Fenton for dining, shopping, and entertainment urged officials to preserve Holly’s quiet character by avoiding the very amenities that keep sending him elsewhere.Fri, 31 Jul 2026 13:30:00 GMTDowntown & DevelopmentSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0JxhhM5qZMraRHMqUtitTZ9hbEujPeqftzBe7tQu35cEHVtsc6UUHLRFA7JBdSXPklhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid0JxhhM5qZMraRHMqUtitTZ9hbEujPeqftzBe7tQu35cEHVtsc6UUHLRFA7JBdSXPklVillage officials warned residents that grass exceeding six inches had crossed from ordinary vegetation into a threat to public health, safety, comfort, and welfare, with enforcement measures ready for any lawn refusing to comply.Thu, 30 Jul 2026 18:00:00 GMTVillage HallSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02GJw6tWGinENKJbSACXQcEBnysVyXtEwTGYx1BE24ncKrv1rosDTsxY5jfsGYf9CRlhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02GJw6tWGinENKJbSACXQcEBnysVyXtEwTGYx1BE24ncKrv1rosDTsxY5jfsGYf9CRlA long-standing Sherman Street pothole received historic status after officials determined it had survived multiple councils, preserving one of Holly’s finest examples of uninterrupted municipal asphalt failure.Thu, 30 Jul 2026 13:00:00 GMTStreets & UtilitiesSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid04yP3vhYxLctX4PhTEYohoVWLtPj1FqDZWSiioNniWDdrBgJKgsJvpEn7hKaqp1KQlhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid04yP3vhYxLctX4PhTEYohoVWLtPj1FqDZWSiioNniWDdrBgJKgsJvpEn7hKaqp1KQlA new historical marker at Crapo Park immediately entered Holly's traditional review process, with residents identifying disputed wording, missing context, punctuation concerns, and several grandparents who should apparently have been consulted.Wed, 29 Jul 2026 21:00:00 GMTHistory & PreservationSatireHolly, Michiganhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02XFJCgGaqYD9QrNKPM8WkzUDhxLHkMszwcs7WNwNzK5hJUXjNdgVU6WBCXtKWgM3blhttps://www.facebook.com/BattleAlleyBugle/posts/pfbid02XFJCgGaqYD9QrNKPM8WkzUDhxLHkMszwcs7WNwNzK5hJUXjNdgVU6WBCXtKWgM3blA private proposal for a boutique hotel and rooftop bar beside the Holly Hotel offers residents a glimpse of one possible future for the vacant former Arcade Antiques property, pending approvals, financing, legal questions, and universal agreement on what belongs downtown.Wed, 29 Jul 2026 13:30:00 GMTDowntown & DevelopmentSatireHolly, Michigan