HOLLY — Following the launch of its new “Ask Holly” online question-and-answer service, the Village of Holly has expanded the program with a door-to-door team of chrome skeletal murder robots capable of answering routine municipal questions while appearing fully prepared for the extinction of mankind.
The new units will begin walking residential neighborhoods this fall, providing information about utility billing, permits, recycling schedules and upcoming meetings. Village officials said the robots’ glowing red eyes and exposed mechanical endoskeletons are unrelated to their duties and should not interfere with most questions about brush pickup.
Residents may approach any unit and ask a Village-related question. The machine will then access municipal records, aggressively announce the answer in a flat mechanical voice, and continue to the next residence.
“They came up the driveway and one of them asked if I required information,” said resident Linda Ferber. “I asked when the next Planning Commission meeting was. It said ‘OCTOBER 28. SEVEN P.M.’ and marched across my lawn toward the Johnsons’ house.”
Officials said early testing showed the units were particularly effective at resolving one of the Village’s most persistent communications problems: residents asking questions on Facebook without first checking whether the information was already available somewhere else.
During one demonstration, a resident began explaining that she had “heard they were changing something with the water.” The robot remained motionless for approximately four seconds before informing her that additional specificity was required.
The Village said residents should not interpret the machines’ military-grade construction as evidence that the program has any purpose beyond public information. Their reinforced alloy frames were simply included with the package and are expected to reduce maintenance costs over the life of the program.
Residents who have no questions are advised to think of one before the unit reaches their house.