Holly Election Somehow Now About Saving The Republic
Big development in the Holly Village President race: apparently we are no longer electing a village president.
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Satire covering Holly schools, parks, markets, festivals, car shows, and resident behavior.
Holly Woman Seeking Part-Time Work Rules Out Every Known Form Of Employment
Holly resident Tammy Flickenstaff announced this week that she is actively seeking part-time employment, provided it does not involve food, retail, customer service, driving, mornings, evenings or weekends.
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Holly Man Begins Labor Day By Announcing He’s ‘Not Doing Shit Today’
Declaring shortly after breakfast that he intended to “do absolutely nothing” with his Labor Day, Holly resident Eric Brindle was observed 43 minutes later standing on a ladder with a cordless drill.
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First Campaign Signs Emerge, Marking Start Of Holly’s Nine-Week Lawn Migration
The first campaign signs of the season have begun appearing across Holly, marking the start of the community’s annual nine-week lawn migration ahead of the Nov. 3 general election.
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Medieval Visitors Return Through Time Portal After Seeing Price Of Renaissance Festival Turkey Leg
Opening festivities at the Michigan Renaissance Festival were briefly interrupted Saturday when a time portal opened near Hollygrove and deposited several residents of 14th-century Europe onto the festival grounds.
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Holly Farmers Market Phases Out Remaining Farmers To Make Room For More 3D-Printed Dragon Vendors
The Holly Farmers Market announced plans to phase out traditional farmers in favor of additional 3D-printed dragon vendors after determining residents strongly prefer articulated plastic creatures to produce.
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Local Man Brings 1970 Chevelle Downtown So 46 Strangers Can Tell Him Their Brother Had One
A restored 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle drew a familiar crowd of spectators eager to explain that a brother, father, uncle, or guy named Terry once owned essentially the same car.
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Holly Schools Unveil Monorail System After Student Drop-Off Lines Exceed Capacity Of Roads
Holly Area Schools announced a bond-funded monorail network after determining that student drop-off traffic had finally exceeded the useful capacity of roads, cones, arrows, and increasingly desperate parking-lot directions.
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