HOLLY — A Tesla Cybertruck parked along Saginaw Street spent much of Saturday seeking reassurance from passing residents that it was, in fact, an extremely cool vehicle. “I’m made of stainless steel,” it announced to a woman walking her dog. “Like a spaceship.” When the woman described its appearance as “interesting,” the truck reportedly asked whether she meant interesting in a good way or interesting like an ugly baby.
The vehicle spent the next hour demonstrating its capabilities to anyone within earshot, repeatedly opening and closing its powered tonneau cover and explaining that it was designed to survive the apocalypse. “I can do everything a regular truck can do, only better,” it insisted as a rusted 2004 F-150 drove past carrying a load of firewood. The Ford did not respond.
By early afternoon, the Cybertruck had grown visibly frustrated with the lack of attention. It flashed its headlights at pedestrians, offered unsolicited acceleration statistics, and demanded to know why people kept comparing it to a refrigerator. “It’s called a futuristic design,” the truck shouted at a passing teenager. “You wouldn’t understand.” The teenager had not said anything.
As evening approached, the Cybertruck quietly asked a nearby Silverado whether people had laughed at it when it was new. The Chevy explained that it had mostly been purchased to haul things. After a prolonged silence, the Cybertruck asked if the Chevy thought it would look better with different wheels.