Est. 2026 · Serving Battle Alley and several comment sections beyond
Battle Alley BugleSatire and parody from Holly, Michigan. Nothing here should be mistaken for actual reporting, including by people who mistake Facebook comments for municipal law.
Every dispatch preserved for posterity, accountability, and future historians who make several unfortunate assumptions.
The Village of Holly has formally ceded control of downtown sidewalks to a roving gang of between six and seven 10-year-olds on electric mini bikes after officials concluded the children possess superior speed, numbers…
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Another lengthy public explanation of why road reconstruction does in fact require money has pushed Holly’s supply of road-related paperwork past the threshold needed to begin filling several smaller potholes.
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Officials involved in the Stiff’s Mill Pond restoration are asking residents to disclose any additional dams they may be aware of after engineering work unexpectedly identified a second earthen structure helping retain…
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A promotional appearance by Big Poppa’s Pizzeria ended in tragedy Monday when the restaurant’s pizza-slice mascot was overwhelmed and devoured by a crowd of hungry pedestrians, an incident management later described as…
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Opening festivities at the Michigan Renaissance Festival were briefly interrupted Saturday when a time portal opened near Hollygrove and deposited several residents of 14th-century Europe onto the festival grounds.
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The Holly Police Department reminded residents this week that bicycles, scooters, skateboards and other wheeled devices must be dismounted in designated areas of downtown, adding that the requirement also applies to…
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Citing growing demand for government transparency, the Village of Holly announced Wednesday the launch of Holly FOIA, a new subscription service that automatically sends residents public records they were probably going…
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Months after relocating Holly’s historic Union Depot, officials have moved on to the next phase of the decades-long preservation effort: deciding what the restored 1886 building should actually be used for.
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The Holly Farmers Market announced plans to phase out traditional farmers in favor of additional 3D-printed dragon vendors after determining residents strongly prefer articulated plastic creatures to produce.
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A Holly Village Council candidate drew support with a platform of lower taxes, better roads, transparency, and fewer business obstacles, before questions about how to accomplish all of those things at once briefly complicated the campaign.
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